Relationship, Attachment

If You Love, Love Openly

Twenty monks and one nun, who was named Eshun, were practicing meditation with a certain Zen master.

Eshun was very pretty even though her head was shaved and her dress plain. Several monks secretly fell in love with her. One of them wrote her a love letter, insisting upon a private meeting.

Eshun did not reply. The following day the master gave a lecture to the group, and when it was over, Eshun arose. Addressing the one who had written her, she said: "If you really love me so much, come and embrace me now."

OK this subject is a heavy buddhist subject because we all got different views on that, but I think in that the most important that where's the love in all of that ?

As I say in previous post unconditional love is something will bring the best in the relationship, but in that also sometimes come the attachment and when the grasping coming the unconditional love decrease so how to keep balance ?

We all get attach that normal we are not enlighten and we try to deal with that, everyday but in the teaching what is come out is everything come from our mind everything we expect from the person we love and what heal that expectation, the answers is simple letting go Dzonchar rinpoche say we are two stranger meeting in an hotel we stay for a life together or for couple of time but keep that when we start we were without any expectation so why bring all of this right now !

When the relationship start to have long time we start to build more and more expectation we want our partner to be like this like that without thinking maybe I should release myself from this and be more happy with my partner.

Love is very strong energy can move mountain with love, when you love someone and start to contemplate that unconditional make us even more happy than just love with full attachment that the ultimate release even sex and all go with the relationship became more happy because we start to wake up the Daka and Dakini we are and without attachment we start to have clear vision, what we share with our partner is something pure and is useless to spoil it with expectation .

Buddha advice to Husband and Wife :

In advising women about their role in married life, the Buddha appreciated that the peace and harmony of a home rested largely on a woman. His advice was realistic and practical when he explained a good number of day to day characteristics which a woman should or should not cultivate. On diverse occasions, the Buddha counselled that a wife should:

1. not harbour evil thoughts against her husband;
2. not be cruel, harsh or domineering;
3. not be spendthrift but should be economical and live within her means;
4. guard and save her husbands hard earned earnings and property;
5. always be attentive and chaste in mind and action;
6. be faithful and harbour no thought of any adulterous acts;
7. be refined in speech and polite in action;
8. be kind, industrious and hard-working;
9. be thoughtful and compassionate towards her husband, and her attitude should equate that of a mothers love and concern for the protection of her only son;
10. be modest and respectful;
11. be cool, calm and understanding — serving not only as a wife but also as a friend and advisor when the need arises.

In the days of the Buddha, other religious teachers also spoke on the duties and obligations of a wife towards her husband — stressing particularly on the duty of a wife bearing an off spring for the husband, rendering faithful service and providing conjugal happiness.

Some communities are very particular about having a son in the family. They believe that a son is necessary to perform their funeral rites so that their after life will be a good one. The failure to get a son from the first wife, gives a man the liberty to have another wife in order to get a son. Buddhism does not support this belief.

According to what the Buddha taught about the law of Karma, one is responsible for ones own action and its consequences. Whether a son or a daughter is born is determined not by a father or mother but the karma of the child. And the well being of a father or grandfather does not depend upon the action of the son or grandson. Each is responsible for his own actions. So, it is wrong for men to blame their wives or for a man to feel inadequate when a son is not born. Such Enlightened Teachings help to correct the views of many people and naturally reduce the anxiety of women who are unable to produce sons to perform the "rites of the ancestors."

Although the duties of a wife towards the husband were laid down in the Confucian code of discipline, it did not stress the duties and obligations of the husband towards the wife. In the Sigalovada Sutta, however, the Buddha clearly mentioned the duties of a husband towards the wife and vice versa.

The Buddha, in reply to a householder as to how a husband should minister to his wife declared that the husband should always honour and respect his wife, by being faithful to her, by giving her the requisite authority to manage domestic affairs and by giving her befitting ornaments. This advice, given over twenty five centuries ago, still stands good for today.

Knowing the psychology of the man who tends to consider himself superior, the Buddha made a remarkable change and uplifted the status of a woman by a simple suggestion that a husband should honour and respect his wife. A husband should be faithful to his wife, which means that a husband should fulfil and maintain his marital obligations to his wife thus sustaining the confidence in the marital relationship in every sense of the word. The husband, being a bread winner, would invariably stay away from home, hence he should entrust the domestic or household duties to the wife who should be considered as the keeper and the distributor of the property and the home economic administrator. The provision of befitting ornaments to the wife should be symbolic of the husbands love, care and attention showered on the wife. This symbolic practice has been carried out from time immemorial in Buddhist communities. Unfortunately it is in danger of dying out because of the influence of modern civilization.

On that the buddha was quite clear on we have to respect each other and when expect to much we became a pure time bomb for our relationship for this reason we have to work on everyday on unconditional love and get rib of attachment and expectation. 

Lotus of Bodhicitta

With a wish to free all beings
I shall always go for refuge
To the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha,
Until I reach full enlightenment

Enthused by wisdom and compassion,
today in the Buddhas' presence
I generate the Mind for Full Awakening
For the benefit of all sentient beings

As long as space remains,
As long as sentient beings remain,
Until then, may I too remain
And dispel the miseries of the world

Garchen Rinpoche say in Milarepa teaching, Milarepa was pure bodhicitta and when we remind to ourself the bodhisattvas practice we should always generate an active bodhicitta.

In Sanskrit, bodhi means "awakened" and chitta means "mind" or "heart." Bodhichitta -- "awakened heart-mind" -- is the compassionate wish to realize enlightenment for all beings, not just oneself. Through bodhichitta, the desire to attain enlightenment transcends the narrow interests of the individual self.

In our world today we have a strong view about individuality what's not generally so good in bodhichitta development, when we follow the path as say Gendum Rinpoche we should have the intention of helping others so hard that became our only goal in life.

Gendum Rinpoche use this example : if someone plant a tree for himself and an other plant a tree with the intention to every beings be able to have benefit of it the intention isn't the same and the result will be different.

In that we have to think all kind of distractions drive us away from dharma, but helping others in the direct level of bodhichitta can be, be good to others beings everyday, so we can apply this bodhichitta in everyday life, also to the deeper level focus on daily practice and apply in everyday life as say Garchen Rinpoche.

In our life we got some tendency and that a both a psychological work of everyday life to change selfishness to bodhichitta, as our way we plant our tree the result may vary in all kind of way .

In our time when depression is a big part as say Lama Zopa rinpoche depression is also a pure form of selfishness we need develop more and more bodhichitta, as bodhichitta is generate by understanding the sufferance of others in all kind of way and making everything to take of this sufferance off.

As everything is possible we can generate bodhichitta in our world today, we have everything to train us and help us to become better but the question is do we make the choice of dharma or samsara as is really easy to fall in samsara bodhichitta is also important for our next birth, we have to develop pure bodhichitta and use it to help all beings, following the buddhist path bodhichitta is the key drive us to enlightenment. 

Suffering of Birth

In the Bardo state the wanderer

Is the Alaya. It stays nowhere,

Driven by one's own sorrow,

It enters a womb unknown.

Therein it feels like a fish

Caught into crevice of rock,

Sleeping in blood red and pus yellow,

In all discharges it must pillow.

Crammed in filth, it suffers pain,

From bad karma one is to gain,

Though remembering past lives,

It cannot count four or five.

Now scorched by heat,

Now cold it does meet.

For nine months it remains,

In the womb with all pains,

From womb by pliers as if pulled out,

Head is squeezed but safety is nought,

Like being thrown into a bramble,

When it bears all of a-tremble,

Its body on mother's lap with sorrow,

It feels gripped by a hawk like a sparrow.

When his body blood and dirt is cleansed,

Like flayed alive its pains increased,

When umbilical cord is being cut,

It feels as if the spine does jut,

When wrapped in the cradle,

It feels bound by a girdle.

He who realizes not the truth of non-born

Never can escape from birth to be grown.

Milarepa

Gesar Prayer

(It is blessed) HUNG HUNG HUNG (The lord of three families, wrathful lotus appears)

RIK SUM PEMA DRAK PO KUR SHENG PA NYIK MAI DUL KA MA LU DUL WAI PAL DU DUL GESAR NORBU DRA DUL TSAL PA TUL PONNU KA DO PO NYA PUNG DRA LA WERMAI KOR DANG CHE PA NAM DIR SHEK SER KYEM DUTSI PU CHÖD BULU DA TA NYIK MA NGA DÖ DÜ DE RU NYON MONG DUK NGAI TOP SHUK ME TAR BAR CHE DRÖ SHE GYU DU DANG GONG PÖ LAM MAK JAK NE TSUN TRUL GYI KORLO KOR DUL TREN TSON GYI DRO LA TSE WA DANG GYAL KAM DUK NGAL JIK PAI NAR WA LA TUK DAM MA YEL GESAR DRA LAI GYAL KOR DANG CHEY PA DRAK PO KUR SHENG NEY TRUL PA YANG TRUL NANG SI JIK TEN KENG DE DEN BU LA SUNG KYOB YEL MAI DZEU GYAL KAM DI TSON ZAM LING CHON KUN DU MAK TRUK TSON CHEY YUL NGO SHOM PA DOK NEY DON RIM YAM LO BOR JIK PA SOK NGA DÖ GÜ PÄ CHEN NGEN KUN SOL LA ZAM LING DRO NAM PEN DE PEL LA CHO BAR CHEY DU DE YUL LEY RAB GYAL NEY CHOK LEY NAM PAR GYAL WAI TIN LE DZE

You who manifests the wrathful lotus form, lord of the three families, who tames all those that are difficult to tame in the Dark Age, You are the demon tamer, the wrathful jewel Gesar. With all your emanations, henchmen, daki's and messengers And your entourage of the dralas and wermas, please come here, and partake of the nectar or the golden liquor. Now is the time of the fivefold Dark Eon. The power of conflicting emotions, cravings and pain blazes like fire. People are relentlessly turning into evil creatures, whipped up into turmoil of war, disease and weaponry. Nuclear weapons are aimed at destroying people, countries are in peril of great pain. King of Drala, please do not forget your promise. Manifest the wrathful form with your entire entourage Multiply your emanations and fill the whole universe. Don't cease from protecting and guarding to bring well being. Throughout all nations and countries of the world stop warfare, weaponry and conflict Clear away disease, plagues and fear of attacks. Clear away all negative circumstances Bring all beings in the world to well being and happiness, victorious in eliminating obstacles and demonic forces from the world, Engage in the action that spreads enlightenment everywhere.

Dogen

Seven line prayer

HUNG. OR GYAN YUL GYI NUB JANG TSAM
PAD MA GE SAR DHONG PO LA.
YA TSAN CHHOG GI NGO DRUB NYEY
PAD MA JUNG NAY ZHEY SU DRAG
KHOR DU KHA DRO MANG PÖ KOR
KHYED KYI JEY SU DAG DRUB KYIY.
JIN GYIY LOB KHYIR SHEK SU SOL.

Hung. On the northwest border of the country of Orgyan,
in the pollen heart of a lotus,
you attained marvelous most excellent siddhi.
Renowned as the Lotus Born,
you are surrounded by a vast retinue of dakinis.
As I practice, following in your footsteps,
I pray that you approach to confer your blessings.

GURU PADMA SIDDHI HUNG

Prosperity

This blog ones again have take me time to put together, but when you look to all different religious path they have all the tools for prosperity.
The buddha himself say that the wealth is the nectar the nourish life, he talk also on ethic for those who make business and even better than that he talk about purpose .
atthi sukkhathe happiness of possessing wealthA certain person accumulates great wealth and property through fair means and rights effort and thinks, “now I have wealth; now I have properly gathered through fair means.”In thinking so, that person experiences happiness and satisfaction. This is what I call atthi sukkha.When we look to the buddhist community we are bit afraid of wealth, whatever reason we think that not right, if we compare to the Sikh community who have clearly understand that part of the process we can see different view in the buddhist community in Asia wealth is part of the process and also Dana so giving is part to there's all kind of millionaires giving for dharma in asia.
So what in the west make us trouble with the wealth and prosperity ?Sadly the west have big Christian imprint and the catholic church in the past don't have help really people to have a better life, they have make them make a vow of poverty.
So that imprint damage us who practice whatever path like buddhism we still think that not the case but in same time we still broke and not able to attain teaching or not able to live our life as we should, most of our time we find this excuse like “I'm not interest in money but complain when we can do the think we want” money is not evil, that no more than just an hammer in your tool box, if you start a to build a something and you need hammer all time and them complain the hammer isn't here or people who have this hammer are bad maybe you should ask yourself but why I never take this hammer.
This sentence “ I know spiritual people broke, unhealthy and living desperate, when you can live you life spiritual happy and wealthy and healthy”in the movie the secret have make me think for ages and at the end made me change my way by rereading the buddha teaching and also Marpa teaching and Marpa himself was even more rich than the king of Tibet but it was all for the purpose of Dharma, some of us have purpose but no money to make it happened and the buddha never ever say be poor that good that totally a misinterpretation buddha have always push us to strive for the best in whatever it's.
To come back on Urban yogi now yogi live in town and on this town we should not wait for begging for offering from others because that have radically change, the society of today offer us a freedom but to take it we have to work even much harder on ourself .