2014

I like first to thanks all of you to carry following my adventure in that blog, also I like send my wish for those who are in suffering and may 2014 give them something new.


This blog idea have been coming to when I was thinking to make the Dharma more accessible, this year was both blessing and curse, blessing because I have been getting more closer of my dharma masters than ever, curse because sadly I discover that you never know someone.


But now this a new year and new start, I believe in opportunities and we have to jump on it when one come to you.


Tonight I have a quite new year and I feel that new year will bring good challenge and good things back in return.


For the new year I will emphasis more in dharma in daily life. Garchen Rinpoche say dharma is love when you lose love you lose dharma.


I send a wish also for those who have no access to dharma or worst get tyrannise because they practice dharma.


Dharma mean a lot to me, I have to be honest in some deep moment only the dharma was there. Now year will come in couple of hours on my part I have put to the grave all what was the past 2013 and all that go with it.


Now this blog got also a public page on facebook so don't forget to like !!!



I wish you to all of you to always have a great love and carry on dharma.

Kindness real lion roar

In this Christmas time I feel a good time to write about that, in the 37 Bodhisattva practice “Overcome anger and hatred by the army of love and kindness”


We have that tendency to confuse kindness and sentimental or feeling, kindness is not that we have no choice to become kindness itself to understand kindness and same for unconditional love.


We can read billion of page from books, we not be kind at all, we like to sentimentalise kindness, like we like crying of this saying that lost touch me, but that not kindness that just our loss and the sentiment for that person we had.


Kindness is in everything, when we act of kindness we are kind, when we multiply that by unconditional love we are like a mother for her child .


That kindness and unconditional love this is the real lion roar, we think by acting hard or acting by vengeance whatever, after saying to everybody don't kill this poor animal we are kind !
Sorry we are far from that, kindness is work of everyday it's really easy to lose the kindness to become sentimental.


At kindness is powerful not a weakness.

Ashes to rebirth

Today on that 23^th December I can say that my total rebirth, the multiplication of Dharma and Nlp, and all the helps from my spiritual guides have make my old self die for real and new self is born.


But today I won't speak to much about me, tomorrow that the birthday of mother, sadly this Christmas I won't be able to see her.
So I have decide to meditate and visit wood and walk around holyrood tomorrow, tonight I like speak of real faith.


When you face the heavier breakdown in your life and friends, family just disappear that this moment you can see if your faith is real or not, because on that moment that here just now if you are faithful to your path you will succeed no matter what's happened to you.


On first stage I have to say that Christian band with great music and message have lift me up and also the great Vajra songs of Milarepa sing by Garchen rinpoche that both together was turning non stop on my MP3 and in my head when I was feeling deep down to hell.


In that faith you can find everything you need whatever you call that : Buddhas, God, Allah, Guru, Krishna yeah if you like all they always be there for you, love I truly feel is more power than all other selfish love, now I will be able to give to my future partner a powerful love without measure it. Unconditional love was the first advice gave me Dorzin Rinpoche and later on Lama Tubten Nima have also explain me how to feel it and to give it and Garchen Rinpoche was the pure example to follow on that.


Yeah this lesson proof me also that from ground zero you can become someone, today I have start loads of project and “don't look how I gonna to succeed I carry on day after day putting a stone everyday with faith without think I need this or that” you want to succeed in life ? Stop to ask yourself and just do it.


Society slam us by the idea be like this or be like that do this do that, find this to pay that OK wait a minute when do we live here ?


Succeed and fulfilled life is important, for that reason we must never give up our dream for nothing and no one.

Garchen Rinpoche was true only unconditional love save you, it's easy to fall into the 8 dharma mondain but to have real faith, the real dharma practitioners are rare like start into the light .

Die Hard

Another bomb I drop before Christmas time, time to speak about this !


Few month ago I was dyeing for love for someone who only was thinking to see other mens and who were pointing fault at me, preaching the dharma to me as I was always wrong.


Sadly for her my faith on the buddhas was so strong that each time she was in town hanging around with someone that have make that I have always, cross her road by one way, the buddha have help me to take off that mask off her face and was wake in the middle of storm.


In November I was so happy to meet HE Garchen rinpoche see my lama and spend long time with him all this storm was in my head, I was so sensible and still a bit on that, that I was enable to follow the dharma properly but in the interview he cleared all of that in a second I was asking him for my relationship and what direction I should take, at first he say “you are with that person who was my ex” then he pause I have say to him I was not any-more sadly, in between tear and faith, then he told me don't worry that all the sexual misconduct is the result of that but as you have faith in the tree jewel you will find someone who is like Tara .
He was true on that day Garchen Rinpoche was in Scotland my ex was hanging around with someone in Depeche mode concert with her new boyfriend.


So after that I saw that I was destroy mentally, emotionally and everything until I apply the first advice of Garchen rinpoche love your ex like the first time, when I see that image of her the first time she was not that monster any more but someone totally different.
Second advice was pray the deity they will never leave you what was true, as Psychic Medium I have to say for couple years I have give up that, until that night I was totally crash dying of sadness, that night I have take refuge in the tree jewel and retake again my Nakgpa vows and call in 10 direction not just the buddhas and bodhisattvas but all my spiritual guides.
That night I have make a strange dream of someone coming at me, saying to me “don't worry we will help you” in that morning only one taught was in my head find oracles, as I use to be professional medium clairvoyant and tarot reader, so that was coming back at me, but to be sure I was not making the right choice I have see a colleague of mine who do reading for Christmas and she told me to retake the music, yes couple of weeks one advisor told me that will be my best asset and she told me also to keep carry on practice my clairvoyance.

A week after just before that experience yesterday with Karmapa, I have make that dream with Trinley Tulku Rinpoche, that mean a lot for me more that just a great kind lama is always have been there to advices me, in that dream he was helping to clear the black box, in the day I make reconnection with my heart sister who stay in France and first things she told me, that “you are better without her she a poison, I have told you that the first time have talk to her” sadly she was right.


Since that day, things start to change, slowly I don't have see the happy end yet but I'm working on everyday, I have promises to myself to never drop nothing from my personality for no one, today I have start to right new songs and using my medium gift to help others in everyday life, my hell is in way of finish because I have take the commitment to clear that, for my ex I just pray that she realise, she had create all of this, I can only drop a prayer for her since she have drop all dharma and radically change to get accept by her new boyfriend may her see what is the real truth and find the way to dharma.



And Garchen rinpoche was right now I meet everyday new person, full of kindness and beautiful in same time, I can see Tara in her easily and at that time I know that I cannot fail .

Karmapa Kyenno

Today I was working on my charity shop for British heart foundation and at one point I was doing a repetitive task, my mind was not focus at all until a flash light have been going strait to my head.


One word It was like Trinley Tulku Rinpoche was saying at me Karmapa Kyenno is important for you to be connect to your master.


Strangely I start to repeat the mantra and say it more in my head, strangely I have feel this super devotion and one question was in the light right now “Why Karmapa himself have give the name of victorious for the future temple in Scotland”


I have been also remind that dream I say to Dorzin Rinpoche when Karmapa himself have been appear in my dream saying to “ carry on “ when was really difficult to carry on the Drikung Kagyu group .


I feel full devotion for my both Lamas Dorzin Rinpoche, Garchen Rinpoche and I feel also full devotion for my roots Lama, Lama Teunsang and Karmapa I have been lucky to took refuge with great master like them and today I have been remembering that for lives I have been following Karmapa.


Today on my shop reciting all the day the mantra “Karmapa Kyenno” all the day for ones I have feel this great presence during my work the presence when I took refuge with him in France for Chenrezig empowerment.


Also today I have decide to follow my dream no matter what, I will apply to Uni even if some of my tutor want me to take time but in same told me I'm able, I will apply to HNC and I will do my music just watching a movie and one thing they say “ what if you know nothing is impossible” I have been living six years in scar city and negativity but will Les Brown say “yes it's easy to see faith when life is good but when life hit you in bad way big time that the real faith you see “



Karmapa Kyenno

Light of the guru in pure darkness

When you are in that time in life when everything get fuck up and hard to live you have two choices.
Play hard and you will get hard or turn yourself to the pure faith and devotion, that what I have choose, I have been looking my ex partner playing the Russian roulette of karma but the gun is full loaded.


As I'm psychic medium since my childhood I have always be closer of the spiritual for years my life was not in balance with that for many reasons but strangely in the middle of that hardship like boomerang the music and my gift just came back to me, I have always have been use my gift to help people. In France and UK I have help countless peoples with reading and also inside but for years I have been trying to fit with the system when finally I was a pure maverick.


So yeah since almost 5 month I was hunted by a song “Hero, the chorus is I need a hero” all this years he was closer to since day one, Tsem Tulku rinpoche say Lama Tsonkapa is enlightened being and help you to get it right, Garchen Rinpoche say about Lama Milarepa he will help not just for 7 lives but all the time until you reach enlightenment.


One day I was working in field with my father, my father run away to do some work and an asthma crisis hit me badly I was lying on field alone with one mantra in my head the mantra of Milarepa, I have pray him so hard, that I saw himself appear to me and he put his hand on my chest and my asthma was gone.


That story came back to me today and I have decide to forgive my ex but not her act and pray lama Milarepa because I know that he have been always with me, that because of him I have meet Garchen rinpoche and also because of him I have never make the wrong choice, I have always pray him to guide me.


Today I know loads of Lamas are worry for me, some I have write to them some other I have just pray but all have show me compassion and send me influences I rejoice on that and dedicate to all beings.



I'm not yet sort it but by the power of the lama I know I will soon get out of this hell flat and carry on my way.

When bad meet evil

Sometimes in life  we have hardship coming strait like bullets, I was off  blogging for long time, was not because I was not able to write that because at the moment the hardship I live is kind of fighting an army of devils who rib your life off.


In that good karma have been with me, I turn myself to the dharma and slowly see the situation change but I will told you that story later.


One day you meet a party girl and think that one will be the one you will get married with six years later, you find that woman saying she single and send you sleep on couch.


Sadly you are in that kind of situation when you cannot change the situation and that person hypocritically don't tell you any truth, sadly my job situation don't have change and I fight everyday to quite that hell.


But the truth of the buddha never fail, I still have  my heart broken, but I know one things the buddhas never fail me, first time I ask the buddha to show the truth about her and if I was in the wrong way because she had always point the fault on me even in-front of the lama, I saw her with another guy in restaurant, the second time I ask the buddhas I heard she sleep over with another one and yesterday I will still live in the same flat and she was with that guy walking like a lovely couple, she put her head down thinking I was not seeing her but buddha never fail to show you the truth.


After everything have make sense, why Garchen Rinpoche was so kind to me and why he pause when I have start to talk about my relationship and he gave me, really precious advices.


Sincerely I feel betrayed inside like someone have robe me and just drop me into the bin, what she do to me she was using the dharma pointing fault on me to find the way to sleep out with others guy and don't feel guilty just in minute she was so kind with her look like I'm kind and poison you in same time, when she want keep that flat we rent when both me and my family have pay and she never put a cents on it and have clearly decide to push me out of that flat.


In this my faith for the buddha just blow up to the stratosphere, I live in this hard situation just friday someone robe all my Ids and all my bank cards with all my driving licence and also car papers, Sunday see her with that guy have just proof me that I was true since day one she have never been faithful and erase 6 years like you scrap paper, now I know I deserve someone better than a person like that .




Garchen Rinpoche told me that deities will never fail you I'm really thankful to him and give him and Karmapa my full devotion.
That the first part of  that long story more will come out, thanks to my friends to have push me to go public, the photo you will see that where I sleep, eat, meditate at the moment when my ex partner have the luxury life and just don't give a shit.


Djemilarepa solwa depso