Die Hard

Another bomb I drop before Christmas time, time to speak about this !


Few month ago I was dyeing for love for someone who only was thinking to see other mens and who were pointing fault at me, preaching the dharma to me as I was always wrong.


Sadly for her my faith on the buddhas was so strong that each time she was in town hanging around with someone that have make that I have always, cross her road by one way, the buddha have help me to take off that mask off her face and was wake in the middle of storm.


In November I was so happy to meet HE Garchen rinpoche see my lama and spend long time with him all this storm was in my head, I was so sensible and still a bit on that, that I was enable to follow the dharma properly but in the interview he cleared all of that in a second I was asking him for my relationship and what direction I should take, at first he say “you are with that person who was my ex” then he pause I have say to him I was not any-more sadly, in between tear and faith, then he told me don't worry that all the sexual misconduct is the result of that but as you have faith in the tree jewel you will find someone who is like Tara .
He was true on that day Garchen Rinpoche was in Scotland my ex was hanging around with someone in Depeche mode concert with her new boyfriend.


So after that I saw that I was destroy mentally, emotionally and everything until I apply the first advice of Garchen rinpoche love your ex like the first time, when I see that image of her the first time she was not that monster any more but someone totally different.
Second advice was pray the deity they will never leave you what was true, as Psychic Medium I have to say for couple years I have give up that, until that night I was totally crash dying of sadness, that night I have take refuge in the tree jewel and retake again my Nakgpa vows and call in 10 direction not just the buddhas and bodhisattvas but all my spiritual guides.
That night I have make a strange dream of someone coming at me, saying to me “don't worry we will help you” in that morning only one taught was in my head find oracles, as I use to be professional medium clairvoyant and tarot reader, so that was coming back at me, but to be sure I was not making the right choice I have see a colleague of mine who do reading for Christmas and she told me to retake the music, yes couple of weeks one advisor told me that will be my best asset and she told me also to keep carry on practice my clairvoyance.

A week after just before that experience yesterday with Karmapa, I have make that dream with Trinley Tulku Rinpoche, that mean a lot for me more that just a great kind lama is always have been there to advices me, in that dream he was helping to clear the black box, in the day I make reconnection with my heart sister who stay in France and first things she told me, that “you are better without her she a poison, I have told you that the first time have talk to her” sadly she was right.


Since that day, things start to change, slowly I don't have see the happy end yet but I'm working on everyday, I have promises to myself to never drop nothing from my personality for no one, today I have start to right new songs and using my medium gift to help others in everyday life, my hell is in way of finish because I have take the commitment to clear that, for my ex I just pray that she realise, she had create all of this, I can only drop a prayer for her since she have drop all dharma and radically change to get accept by her new boyfriend may her see what is the real truth and find the way to dharma.



And Garchen rinpoche was right now I meet everyday new person, full of kindness and beautiful in same time, I can see Tara in her easily and at that time I know that I cannot fail .